Love and Life
by MP36PH3S
Summary: When X is injured during a mission, an unexpected visit reveals feelings buried within him. But can he bring himself to feel when he very well knows that his feelings could become a weakness and a danger? And when they are put to the ultimate test, is he sure he still wants to feel at all? Rated M for later scenes. Temporarily on hold.


**Author's** **Note: This story takes place after ****_Mega Man X8_****, and is set in the same reality as "Variable X" and "Absolute Zero."**

* * *

**December 30, 21XX, Maverick Hunter HQ**

"They're back," Signas sighed with relief as the teleporter unit registered the arrival of X, Zero, and Axl.

"Sir?" Alia asked tentatively. Signas nodded and she quickly left the command center.

"X, what the hell were you thinking?" grumbled Zero as he and Axl lugged their friend's unconscious form to the repair bay.

Lifesaver was waiting for them at the entrance. "Quick, get him inside." Once that was done, and his assistants had begun their work, he turned to the two. "Alright, what happened?"

"I don't know. He just froze up for some reason and he got hit badly."

Lifesaver's reply was cut short by the arrival of Alia. "Is he alright?"

"I'm sorry, my dear, but you can't see him now. He needs to rest." One of the Reploids repairing X called for Lifesaver. "I know you're worried, but I cannot take any chances. If you'll excuse me, I must attend to his repairs." Alia looked as though she was going to attack the chief medical officer, but she relented and sat down.

"Alia, he'll be fine. X has gone through worse," Axl consoled.

"C'mon, we should report to Signas." Zero shepherded Axl out of the repair bay.

* * *

"You can see him now," Lifesaver told Alia a half-hour later. "He's still asleep though."

"That's fine. Thank you for letting me see X, doc."

Alia gently took one of X's hands in her own and rubbed it while talking to him. "X, what's gotten into you lately? You've seemed distracted ever since Zero got Iris back a few months ago...is it her...?"

At the sound of her voice X stirred weakly. "A...Alia...?" he groaned as he opened his eyes.

"X, are you okay?"

"You mean...right now...? Yeah, I'm...fine," X grunted as he tried to sit up. Alia gently pushed him down.

"Do you have any idea how badly that hit damaged you? You need to rest, X."

"I get that I'm the only Hunter you're assigned to, but why are you doing this?" X asked as he lay back down.

"Because I care about you, X." She noticed him tensing up as she said that, and an awkward silence elapsed between them until her communicator went off.

"X, I have to go now, but...could I ask a favor of you?"

"What do you need, Alia?"

She sat down on the table next to him and took his hands, looking around to make sure nobody could hear her next words. "X...I like you, and tomorrow we have a New Year's dance at the club, so..." she leaned closer and looked into his eyes. "...Will you go with me...?"

For a moment, he didn't reply, and Alia was afraid that he would reject her. "I...um..." X felt his face grow hot. "...of course I will, Alia," he stammered after a brief silence.

Alia smiled and stood up to leave. "Oh, one more thing." She kissed him on the cheek. "Take it easy until then, will you?"

"Uh...okay," X managed to voice through the molten wreckage that had once been his emotional core.

"Come on, Alia, Signas has been waiting long enough to send me! You know how busy he is!" snapped a voice from the entrance to the repair bay, causing Alia to jump and mutter a curse.

"Sorry! I'm coming!" she replied as she ran out, leaving a stunned X behind.

For a moment, he tried to digest what had happened before giving up on it. Though Alia's request had surprised him, his reaction surprised him even more. The legendary X, who didn't waver in the face of the longest odds, had turned into a half-wit at the mere touch of a woman.

_"Are you sure it isn't because you like her? The whole reason you're here is because you froze up when she said she liked you." _Well...it was true that he'd felt something for her since she'd become his only navigator. But he'd chalked that up to sexual attraction; he'd thought she was very attractive from day one. But he'd kept a lid on that just fine in the years since she'd joined the Maverick Hunters.

Though...X had also gotten to know her slightly better now that she was his only Navigator; a private channel naturally prompted some off-topic discussions. _"But if that's all that's changed, how come it's triggered such a change? When we had our Thanksgiving party I wasn't going misty-eyed over her like that, and she'd been my only Navigator for almost two months...okay, I_ was _staring at her...a little...but I wasn't getting paralyzed by hearing her voice...__"_

Another thought suddenly dawned on him. _"Maybe...maybe I've felt this way all along, and I never realized it? No, it can't be..." _But even as he thought that, X knew it was a likely possibility. _She_ hadn't expressed any romantic interest in him until today, after all, and he'd never made a move, unless staring at her timidly counted.

_"If that's true...then should I reciprocate? The chance of me dying in combat is high with the kinds of Mavericks we're assigned to take down. What kind of cruelty would it be to leave her grief-stricken for the rest of her life if I died, let alone if she made a mistake and that led to my death? I've had dreams about that...especially in the last few months..." _While they usually consisted of nothing more than Alia and his friends crying over his dead body and thus hadn't troubled X greatly (after all, he was still alive, wasn't he?), he hadn't understood why Alia took the foreground in them

Until now. Though he should have been happy, X felt only regret. _"I tried so hard not to form any additional attachments after Zero died the first time, but I still couldn't stop myself...why? Why do I do this, even though it just raises the stakes? I can't go into battle without worrying about my friends' well-being, or what'll happen if I die.__..some days I wish I couldn't feel like a human. I'd sooner face Sigma again than have to deal with this quandary. At least I can analyze and defeat Sigma. How do you analyze friendships, and how do you conquer what's not even tangible?"_

Of course, X knew he couldn't do either. _"Then...am I afraid of feeling because of that?"_

It was a question he couldn't answer. X sighed resignedly after contemplating it for a few moments and tried to sit up again. To his relief, his strength was returning. _"Good, then I don't have to ask Zero or Axl to help me back to my pod, or worse, Alia...wait, worse? Am I that afraid of letting her in?" _

X shook himself free of the maelstrom of thoughts. Now wasn't the time to dwell on this. Doubtlessly he'd have another sortie soon.

* * *

"Alia..." Signas began.

"I'm sorry, sir, I was - "

"Proposing to X?" the courier interjected cheekily as his body turned into Axl's.

Alia blushed. "Um, yeah, sort of..."

"You know he's scared of you, right?"

"Axl, enough. Thank you for bringing Alia here; you are dismissed. She needs to give me her debrief."

The shapeshifter nodded and walked out of Signas' office back to his room, encountering X on his way back from his room of armors.

"Whoa, neat outfit there, X. Trying to show off to your girlfriend?"

X's expression was indiscernible beneath the Shadow Armor's mask. "Axl, my personal business is just that."

"X, speak English! What, did that armor fry your thought chip? Or maybe that was Alia kissing you...?"

"Mind you own goddamn business, Axl!" X snapped, losing patience.

Axl's expression clearly expressed hurt, but to his credit the shapeshifter remained silent as X continued on his way. When he reached his quarters he shed the armor and flopped down on the bed, immediately descending into sleep.

* * *

**X's dream**

"...X, wake up!" a voice cried frantically. X found himself looking up into Alia's panicked face, framed by the high ceilings of Sigma's moon palace.

"What...what's going on? Alia, you need to get out of here."

"I'm afraid it's already too late for that, X!" came a voice all-too-familiar to the blue bomber. X turned to see that Alia was in the clutches of Sigma.

"Sigma! I thought you died for good!"

"Fool! I am immortal! So long as my DNA remains intact, I cannot die! Neither, it seems, can you, but if I can't kill you, then I will make you suffer for all eternity!" The hum of a beam sword and the whooshes of its swipes was heard and Alia cried out in pain. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm afraid you've got some goodbyes to say!. Farewell, X! Ha ha ha ha!" Sigma dropped Alia on top of X and disappeared.

"X..." she gasped.

"Alia, just hold on for me!" X pleaded as he rolled her over and scooped her up, running as fast as he could. "I'll get you back to base!"

"Sigma...damaged my IC chip and power core...I'm as good as dead, X."

"No, you're not! I won't let it happen!" They reached a wall and X slid down it faster than he'd ever done before, fueled by desperation

"X, you're strong...but you can't save me."

"Kiss me," she begged after a while as she felt her strength wane. X obliged while continuing to carry her back to the extraction point.

"Alia, I'm...I've loved you back for a long time. I'm sorry I waited so long before I opened up." A tear ran down X's cheek.

"Don't be. Just remember the memories we shared...Mega...Man...X..." With the last of her strength Alia leaned up to kiss X again. As their lips parted, a smile formed on her face and she closed her eyes.

"...A...Alia...? Alia! ALIA!" X nearly dropped her body as he began to cry. _"NO! ALIA! DAMN YOU, SIGMA!"_

Zero and Axl rushed out of the room where Vile's remains lay. Both stopped short when they discovered X holding Alia's body.

"Why...why does it hurt so much?! Alia...!" X screamed to no one in particular, remaining oblivious to the arrival of his friends. His voice sent chilling echoes across the empty halls of the palace.

Zero slowly approached him and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's because you really felt for her, X. Nothing less than true love would hurt this much when it's taken from you." X looked into his friend's eyes. "I've been there, too."

X said nothing and continued to hold Alia's body. "Oh, Alia...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." X whispered as he held her.

* * *

X's eyes flew wide open and he sat up, breathing hard. That nightmare had been almost too real...

A disturbing thought occurred to him. _"Could this be what's to happen? I had a dream of losing Zero during the Eurasia crisis a week before it actually happened...and it played out exactly as it did in the dream."_

Beyond a doubt, the dream had proven he felt for Alia like she did for him. _"But then...should I open up to her if that's going to happen? I...I can't take that chance. I don't want to hurt her, and I do want to love her, but I can't..."_

But why was he hiding behind that excuse? Things didn't always happen that way; the realization of the dream during the Eurasia crisis was one nightmare out of thousands. _"Am I just afraid to love her? Or...maybe I'm afraid of other people finding out? After all, Axl didn't deserve the retort I gave him..."_

"Maverick Hunters X, Zero, and Axl, report to the command center immediately!" Signas' voice came through the intercom. X put on the Shadow Armor and raced out of his room.

* * *

**Author's Note: Yes, a little _Hobbit_ reference as a nod to one of my favorite fantasy sagas.**

**I hope you enjoyed my first foray into a _Mega Man_ love story. I would greatly appreciate any and all constructive criticism, especially with regard to my portrayals of Alia, X, and Axl.**


End file.
